Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Clarity, Part 2

While continuing to revise my QRG, I will focus on four more topics of clarity found in Rules for Writers. In this post, I will discuss what I have learned from the reading and also from looking over my QRG with these topics in mind.

Jurvetson, Steve. "Apollo Synthetic Diamond."9/23/15 via Wikipedia. Attribution 2.0 Generic

1.) Active Verbs
The book suggests the use of active verbs instead of passive ones. This choice expresses meaning more emphatically and vigorously than its weaker counterpart. It also recommends replacing "be" verbs that make the sentence needlessly dull and wordy.
2.) Needed Words
Some words, when left out of a sentence, can cause confusion or break important grammar rules. In compound structures, sometimes extra words are needed to fix a sentence that defies grammar or idioms. Also, comparisons should be made between like items.
3.) Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers
Limiting modifiers need to go in front of the words they modify.The same goes for phrases and clauses; they should be reordered if they are oddly placed. Also, split infinitives should be avoided when they are awkward.
4.) Variety
Rules for Writers suggests varying sentence openings with adjectives and participial phrases. Inverted sentences are also recommended, along with different sentence structures.

Revising my QRG, I found that I am pretty good at avoiding dangling modifiers and adding needed words, but I can always review my work to include more active verbs and variety so that my writing is more interesting. I will give some examples of sentences in my QRG that needed revision.


For example:
Selma, the Martin Luther King, Jr. biopic, was nominated for best picture and best song, but became central to the racism debate because it failed to garner nominations for its black stars and black female director.

This sentence could be changed so that it is more interesting considering the sentence structures around it. I could say:

Although nominated for best picture and best song, Selma- the Martin Luther King, Jr. biopic- became central to the racism debate....

This gets rid of a boring "be" verb and gives the sentence a different beginning. 


Also:

To Levinson and others who believe strongly in film as an art, it is important to preserve one’s right of opinion and value every film based on skill, regardless of ethnicity.

This sentence is in need of the word "to" in front of "value" to clarify the direct objects of the verb "preserve."

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