Clarity, Part 1

When reviewing our QRGs, clarity should be a major aspect of our revisions. The conventions of the genre demand that paragraphs be short and clear, meaning every word counts. In this post, I will discuss some of the facets of clarity found in Rules for Writers.

clkerfreevectorimages. "diamond gem." 9/19/2015 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain 

1.) Wordiness

As a lover of the English language, I sometimes struggle with putting too many words into a sentence. This section really made me aware of empty/inflated phrases. These words can be cut because they don't lend anything to the sentence anyway. It also reminded me to simplify the structure of my sentences when possible. This is accomplished best when one reads their writing aloud.

2.) Exact Words

Since QRGs have to be brief, nouns have to be precise. The tip to "prefer specific, concrete nouns" is helpful because it will help me get to the point quicker. Specific nouns also convey more meaning. This is useful in analysis.

3.) Balance Parallel Ideas

This section basically reviewed the grammatical concept that two parallel ideas should have a link and the same grammatical form. It's not something that I usually think about in my writing process, but it is key to making a complex sentence sound correct. Also, repeating function words such as "by, to, that, because" signal parallel structures that the reader might miss.

4.) Shifts

Emphasized in this section was "consistent verb tenses." Since the QRGs cover a large span of time and may jump back and forth, it is important that the tenses make sense in the context. Also, point of view in person and number should be consistent. There are may subjects in my QRG, so I must ensure that my paragraphs are not switching sentence by sentence with regards to POV.

Reflection: In reviewing Rachel and Chingiz's QRG drafts, I discovered that fluency (wordiness as defined by Rules for Writers) was a big issue. The other three topics/ mistakes were not as common, because my peers were clear and direct with their words. As person who loves literature and writing, it is fairly easy for me to see when things aren't flowing correctly and sound awkward. I love those who are more science-based, and their set of intelligence really interests me, but it seems as though they have a harder time getting their sentences to sound natural.

In Rachel's draft, she writes:

I sugested that she change the first part of the sentence to "the aforementioned evidence shows that." I thought that this edit would help her sentence sound less clunky but also tie into what the evidence means.

In Chingiz's draft, he writes:

 While I understood the dramatic effect he was going for in his sentence with the fragments, it doesn't quite make sense to the reader. I advised him to break up the first sentence and combine the last two in order to improve the fluency of the paragraph.